Tales of a 4th Grade Mom

As of tomorrow, Thursday August 15, I will officially be the mom of a 4th grader. Again. I have been a 4th grade mom 4 times before. There is something about this grade that hits me hard - like a punch in my stomach. This grade - the 4th grade - signals big changes to me.


One might think that this new school year would have me in a tizzy because my daughter is now going to be a junior in high school.

LE SHUDDER.

And of course, I am in a tizzy over that. And a bit in denial.

And my sweet six year old is now a grown-up first grader.

Le Sob.

But honestly, it is my son with the big brown soulful eyes entering 4th grade that is bothering me the most.

I think that to me this year signifies the beginning of my little boy really growing up and leaving the 'little' far behind. I already have been through 4th grade with my much older boys (now grown-up for reals!) and my daughter. I am so not ready to do it again. Sigh. I want him to be my third grader just a little longer.

My six year old is still my baby in many ways, and though I am teary-eyed at the thought of not having a kindergartner anymore, I think I still have some comfort in knowing he is still my 'little guy' for a bit longer.

But my nine year old son. Wow, I look at him and cannot catch my breath sometimes. Where has the little curious boy gone? And who is this person that is on a fast path to being my height? He is changing, quickly, and I am sad.

Changes are subtle to someone, but to his mom, they are glaring. Some changes are physical, of course, but some are 'inside' changes - that I see everyday and cannot stop.

Not that I should want to. Right?

But why oh why do I want to?

Where does the time go?

I want that little boy back. I really do. But, like so many moms everywhere, I will deal. I will celebrate the changes, his growing up, his new adventures and yes, his foray into the 4th grade.

I will take many deep breaths as I try to hold his hand tomorrow morning and walk with him to his new classroom, and tell my new 4th grader to have a wonderful day.

Then I will probably go home and cry.