"Dumbwaiter": One who asks if the children would care to order dessert.
"Feedback": The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
"Full Name": What you call your child when you're angry with him.
"Grandparents": The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
"Independent": How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.
"Puddle": A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into.
"Show Off": A child who is more talented than yours.
"Whodunit": None of the children who live in your house.
"Bottle-feeding": An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am.