This is sooo funny (but yet so appropriate somehow!) that I just had to steal (OOPS--I meant borrow)it from On The Verge. I am going to print it out, frame it and hang it where my daughter sees it everyday!
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME______________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH______________
HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #___________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS__________________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_______________________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ________________________________
If less than your age, explain ________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Do you own a van? _______________
A truck with oversized tires? _______________
A waterbed?_______________
A pickup with a mattress in the back?_______________
Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a navel ring? _______________
A tattoo?_______________
(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?______________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Church you attend ____________________________________________________
How often you attend _________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are
confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
_____________________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
_____________________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
_____________________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
_____________________________________________________________________
What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.
_____________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not
try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you
injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two
gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch
your back).
P.S If you enjoyed this, you should visit On The Verge--it is one hilarious blog!